Saturday 28th June 2008.
When I was little I would get abused, beaten up. Yeah, mostly by my dad, but also by my brothers and sister. I was looking through my old diary the other day and came across abit that said "I wish my sister would stop hitting me". And I remembered everything again. My oldest brother would put a pillow on my face and then sit on me pushing all his weight on me and he wouldnt get off no matter how much I tried to tell him, I couldnt hardly breath. It was a horrible feeling, not being able to breath and not knowing what too do being so young. My other brother would hit me and that, he would take his anger out on me. I don't know if it was because I was the youngest, but to be honest I didnt deserve it. It hurt, he didnt and still dosent know his own strength. A "tap" to him hurts alot. My sister would also hit me, thump me. She got angry most the time aswell.
With them always hurting me, I never felt wanted or loved. My mum was about the only person who didnt hurt me, abuse me. How could I call that my home if I didnt even feel safe there. I didnt know what too do, so I just put up with it, even though most the of the time I was scared.
Many years pasted, they don't do it anymore. My dad left and my brothers and sister finally stopped and grew out of it. Yeah, I dont know what they were going through, but they didnt have to hurt me, and now I have them memories with me forever. I still love them all though, dispite it all.
Ive had alot of pain in my life, but Ive always picked myself back up and got on with things. Things are much better now, I love them all, always have .. always will. No matter what.
